A Real Lagos Boy..............

A Nigerian man living in Sweden decided to marry a Swedish lady in order to be legally certified via resident status... but the lady was not aware of this. She felt he really loved her. Anyway, seeing that Nigerian men had a bad rap in that particular part of Sweden, our chap decided to lie to the lady. He told her he was from Uganda.

Upon marriage, the lady came home one day and informed our man that she had just met another Swedish lady who had married a Ugandan and they must all have dinner together.

The Naija man was somewhat perplexed, although not perceptibly, and wondered how he'd get out of this spot. He postponed and postponed until he could do so no more.

Finally, the day came when they were to have dinner. The other Swede came in with her Ugandan husband and they all sat at the table. Our Naija chappie was very quiet. "My own don spoil today" was all he could think.

The two Swedish ladies, wanting their husbands to mingle, being from the same homeland, asked them to speak to each other. "Hey! It's not every day you meet people from home.!" they admonished.

Our Naija man, being a man of great savvy, decided that he would just speak Yoruba, and the guy would probably assume he was from some part of Uganda where they spoke a different language. So looking across the table he said: "Egbon Eko ni mi se? Ni bo lo ti ja wa?" In Yoruba, this loosely translates to: "I'm a Lagos man. Where did you come from?" Remember, Lagos is a state in Nigeria, and it used to be the capital.

The fellow looked up at our friend. His eyes lit up as he said: "Ah, bobo gan! Omo Eko ni mi se! Omo Eko gan gan!" In Yoruba, this loosely translates to "Hey buddy! I'm a Lagos child. A REAL Lagos child!"

One For You,One For Me.................

Any of you know the cemetery at Akoka, Yaba; down by UNILAG. Alright then, one day two primary school boys were over the fence sharing peanuts which they had just stolen. They hid themselves completely out of sight, and one of them split the peanuts equally by saying "One for you and one for me." It so happened that at that moment a young man on his bicycle overheard them, and believed that it was the devil and the good Lord who were sharing the souls of the deceased.

He sped off on his bicycle, frightened like he had just seen the ghost of Abacha. Still speeding, he met an old man who stopped him and asked why he was so scared. The young man still looking over his shoulders, retold his encounter. The old man then slapped the man so as to bring him back to his senses, told him that his story was the most ridiculous that he had ever heard. Then the old man asked to be taken to the cemetery so as to see for himself.

When they got there both men could hear the voices from the cemetery still saying, "One for you, one for me." The old man was taken aback; before the old man could understand what was going on, a voice from behind the wall said, "O boy, this thing don finish-o, make we go get the nuts wey dey by the the wall."

Though the young man was riding his bicycle, he couldn't catch up to the old man who ran so fast that he broke Maurice Green's record.

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father,
I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know
how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired.
"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you
are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know,
I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots
whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in
the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots
to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying
that...that phrase in no time." "Thank you," the woman
responded, "this may very well be the solution."

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's
house. As he ushered her in, she saw this two male parrots were
inside their cage, hold their rosary beads and praying.
Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.
After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed out
in unison, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some
fun?"

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked
over at the other male parrot and said, "Put the beads away,
Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

Daddy, how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as Iwas ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

Scroll down...

You'll love this.... '

You got Male!

Things You Never Know Exited.com

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent ...